RVD and sabu oneshots
by k1LL3R-m1Nd7
Summary: just RVD and sabu oneshots, mostly humour, no slash. mostly just short bits and pieces. what can i say? im an old ECW fan. go easy on me, im not a good writer but i try.
1. talking on a car

disclamer: i do not own rob van dam or sabu nor do i own sabu's car, i do not own the idea of two guys talking on a car even, i saw it on wayne's world. still... im trying to buy RVD on ebay...

she would need to be crazy: a oneshot, short fic brought to you by killer-mind7 AKA KM the flaming duck.

" hey... dude?" RVD and sabu were sitting on the front of sabu's car, staring up into the night sky. there was silence for a few seconds and van dam was going to repeat himself but he got an answer from sabu " ...yeah rob?" " what do you want to do in the next five years dude?" sabu rolled his eyes " rob i don't know what i want to do in the next five seconds... let alone five years..." rob van dam just shrugged " i wanna get married dude..." sabu's eyes crossed to his counterpart " er... why?" van dam sighed " it won't be this way forever... sooner or later we are both gonna get old and wrinkly and we won't be able to sleep with groupies and ring rats anymore... i mean I'll be doing it for longer then you dude, im obviously more handsomer but still..." sabu rolled his eyes " yeah...whatever rob." van dam chuckled " im serious dude! i mean haven't you ever thought about settling down... having little baby sabu's?" sabu shook his head " not really... i figured the damn woman would need to be crazy..." after a few minutes silence sabu and rob van dam gave each other a high five and both laughed " amen to that dude... amen to that!"


	2. sabu's adventures into babysitting

disclaimer: i own RVD! i own RVD! i own a RVD action figure! yeah... i had you fooled for a minute there huh? i don't own RVD ( the real one) or sabu, i don't even own jessica, she's my sister's... and again i'm left trying to find RVD on ebay...

sabu had never been more out of his element then when he was right now. he still couldn't believe he signed up for this, i mean wrestling, brawls and fighting he can definetly handle, he could handle people (most of the time) and he could handle rob even, had done so for a number of years, but somehow... when faced with a young girl not even ten years old, he got worried, really worried. yes, he was babysitting. can't believe it can you? well he was. terry michal brunk was babysitting. he was sitting in a room right now looking at her.

she had brown little pigtails held up in purple bows and a matching purple dress. she was staring at him. he felt like she was a predator marking her prey. he was scared. " Mr sabu sir?" uh-oh, it spoke. what should i do?? answer back? " um... yeah?" sabu replied " can you make me a doll house?" " um... not right now..." the little girl smiled " okie dokie let me rephrase that, make me a doll house or I'll kill you." sabu raised his eyebrows " er... how?" the little girl smirked " with my plasma cannon." sabu sighed a deep sigh of relief phew, she was just kidding. " look im the adult and i say your going to play in the corner until i say your parents have arrived!" honestly he knew he shouldn't have said he would look after Rob's little girl. 'just for a hour or so terry! please! Jessica is a good kid!' rob pleaded. bah! the little girl narrowed her eyes " your gonna make me a doll house now!!" eep. she had a vicious streak he could tell. " look don't make me kick your ass little girl" what can he say? it was the first thing that came to his mind. " do and I'll tell daddy, then I'll shoot you in your bed!" she narrowed her eyes " while your sleeping" sabu raised his eyebrows. not an ordinary kid...by any stretch...

" im not making you a doll house and thats final Jessica!" terry growled

two hours later...

rob van dam entered his best friends house to pick up his daughter Jessica from his scowling best friend, he got a shock.

" er... terry... why are you in pink?" his friend narrowed his eyes " cos i wanna be, stop askin' so many god dam questions..." van dam raised his eyebrows " ok let me rephrase that... why are you in a pink DRESS??" sabu sighed " lets just say... i hate your kid..." RVD's next question ended everything " and since when did Jessica have a doll house??" sabu shook his head" don't ask..." he sighed " ya don't wanna know..."


End file.
